Ok, here are a few more examples of people who have not consumed in moderation and have would up in, shall we say, precarious positions?  The next time you ride out last call or kill that floating keg just remember, this could be you.  And you can be sure that Belly has no mercy for you.  If you wind up being the brunt of these types of entertaining images, you can bet your pretty drunken face will be plastered all over my blog.  Get you a cold beer and make sure you don’t pass out in the living room!  -Belly

I think he cracked a smile!

What a balancing act!

The awards keep pouring in!

Is that some type of male bonding?

Asleep on the job?

That’s a wrap amigo!

Such comfortable sleeping arrangments.

Yellow and blue make green!
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You may want to clean yourself up.

I think we all have been here.

Dead Drunk!

Tired of getting walked on?

That’s cruise ship talent!

Max Factor would be proud!

Due to the rise of modern technology, I have been yearning to expand my technical chugging abilities.  In the early days of industrial science, I would only perform analog chugs, which were the mainstream beer consumption techniques of that era.  I soon became bored and needed more than a static beer getting warm in a stale mug.

Welcome to Chug 2.0., a modernized method of mass consumption which encompasses the modern tools and devices which we all find useful.  Today, we enjoy hi-tech chugging mechanisms which not only improve mass consumption standards, they also increase the overall amount of beer consumed.  And recently, with the arrival of “social chugging”, I have begun to appreciate the cutting-edge digital chugging experience.  With this refreshing overhaul of my antiquated drinking skills, I sense my prevailing chugging behaviours are modernized, and I push forward into this millenia leading the way toward full digital chugging!   Get yourself a techno brew and tweet me later.  -Belly

Imagine 7:00 am on a cold Thanksgiving Day morning at a secluded location in Central Florida. A group of strangely costumed and oddly motivated men begin to arrive. This isn’t just another flag football game. This is a unique fraternity of friends risking divorce in a desperate competition vying for the ultimate and most coveted award, the Mr. Turkey Bowl Trophy.

This male-bonding debauchery began nearly a decade ago, brought from Chicago by the founders, The Ehrhards. The group is divided into two teams, equally matched by size and speed. A bar graces the sidelines with plenty of cold beer for everyone. The amount of beer consumed is tallied by the beertenders and a “touchdown” is awarded for the team which consumes the most beer. This always puts my team a score ahead before kickoff. The most outrageous and often racy costumes are always a hoot. The idea is to be creative, acting your part, and stay in character during the game. Some of the costumes over the years included “The Chess Coach”, who would scream”CHECKMATE!” as he took you down, The Guzzling Grandma, beer swilling champion from 1946, and the latest trio from the Blue Man Group.

In recent years, a Monday Night Mixer was added to help the teammates get acquainted. This results in a party which the rookies are introduced and hazed into this elite club. I dare say these techniques are out of control and equally as ruthless. But I have said too much. Moving on to Turkey Bowl 10 in 2009, “A Decade of Decadence” what this football folly has in store is yet to be seen. Look for a website which will include every detail of past and future events, and some pretty damn funny video too. Later this year, www.turkeybowl.tv

Thats all for now, Get yourself a cold beer and get back to the huddle!

Belly

I was driving thru Pine Hills yesterday, which is an area of town riddled with crime and homelessness.  I saw something that made me appreciate what I have.  Besides cold beer I mean.  This poor bum was rolled up like a twinkie in a matress cushion. 

I have a bed.  I have a roof.  Those are two essential things which are important to me.  A lot of people who do not have those two things still have beer.  While I understand the need and want for beer, even I know that lifes necessities must come first.  Beer can come second.

Ghetto Sponge Bob made me realize that there are some things more important than beer.  a bed and a roof.  Thats It.  Now I know I have my priorities straight!!

Getch ya a cold beer & hurry yass’ up!!

Belly

In college, the day I graduated, I chugged a three story beer bong at a frat house. The beer hose was caked with mold, but I didn’t care. The others holding the funnel were on the third floor while I stood about 30 feet out from the building. We poured in a six-pack of Old Milwaukee- our favorite. When it comes to price, “It just doesn’t get any better than this”! By the time the foam worked its way back to the top, the beer was luke warm. There was a pressure valve at the end, (no thumb could handle it), and I had to squeeze my fingers around my lips to keep from spraying wasted beer due to the extreme pressure.

When I turned the valve, 3 seconds it how long it took to force all the beer into my stomach. The pain was excruciating. For a moment, I actually considered if I could keep the beer in my stomach, but I instantly began to become afraid of what I had done to myself. After a 3 second pause, I wretched six times, grabbed a cold beer, and chugged it in 7 seconds.

Believe it or not. Getcha a Cold Beer.

Belly

Well it seems that our good friend Jason had too many beers the other night. We were all hanging around talking and he suddenly dissappeared. Gravity took its took on his drunken ass! This video was obtained from my surveillance cameras. Notice how he is hangin one minute then just passes out without warning. There was quite a loud thud when his head hit the tile!! Thanks to Steve Reece for adding the audio! What a riot!!

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JgvrYwYQHaw

There was more good video from that night as well. When Jason awoke without his jeans on (just his boxers) and couldn’t find them. After reviewing the camera footage, I saw that Jason came outside about 2:30 am (with his pants on) and went around the side. He must have taken a piss and pissed all overhimself because he came back with just his boxers. I am guessing that he had to take the piss covered pants off because they were found thrown in the dirt the next day. Its always an adventure with Jason. I have a lot of good video I will be pulling out and posting so stay tuned!

Thats all for now. Getcha a cold beer!

Belly

..Well, since everybody in the world is bloggin now-a-days, I figured I better jump on the proverbial blogwagon. So I grabbed a cold beer and came in here.  I was busy watching Judge Judy or some stupid show like that!!  What a nosy bunch we are in this world huh? Everyboy has their nose in everyone else’s business! Reality TV is such a hit there are entire networks devoted to it!!  What loser would sit around all day (drinking beer) watching FOX Reality TV?  I guess us humans are just curious by nature. or just Nozy Bitches!! 

The movie makers and actors get  to keep all that cash they used to spend on sets, scripts, costuming, directors ect….They are making more munny than ever!  Good thing I have one of those handycams with firewire! YouTube here We ARE!!!

Speaking of YouTube.. Did you notice how we are willing to sacrifice quality for cost? We have these expensive Plasma Hi-Def TVs with state of the art blu-Ray digital video and Hi-Tech audio encoders with way-too-expensive speakers, but we are content on watching 3rd generation windows media video with 128 bitrate crackly audio on a 3 inch low quality screen on a free cheap cell phone? I am on my way to the pawn shop as we speak.

Getcha a cold beer!

Belly